Futility, folly and foolishness

The depths of doubt are deep and gloomy and that is where I am residing after spending 4 weeks carrying out perfunctory research for the Project. I am going to come clean as no-one is reading this but me. I am a long-term writer-in-waiting. One of the many people out there who knows that they can write a good sentence every now and then and hopes that one day they might get at least an article published. The Project was going to be my Book. It might even be serialised on TV, although I'm neither attractive enough or sufficiently famous to be the presenter thankfully. Now I feel very foolish, because the Project, the Big Idea, the Book has already been done! Andrew Eames followed Agatha Christie's initial journey to Baghdad in 'The 8.55 to Baghdad', published in 2004. I have two weeks almost to myself as I house-sit for a friend in deepest Norfolk. My friend's partner has lent me Andrew Eames' book which I will read with gritted teeth. Not only has he written something that may make my Project redundant, but he was a well-known journalist at the time and has won a travel writing award for his endeavours. How can I compete? Should I compete? Is this all folly and foolishness? Does any of this really matter?

There is a glimmer of hope down here in the depths. His book does not cover the journey that I planned, which is from London to Chagar Bazar using the Orient Express to Istanbul, travel to Aleppo (still have to figure out how she did that) on to Beirut where I would need to find a driver to take me to Chagar Bazar. I've read somewhere that there may be another dig taking place there now. Could I get a job with them? I need some method of raising the money to do this journey and it looks extremely unlikely that any publishing or production company would be in the slightest bit interested. I still feel committed to this project. I'm very nervous about contacting her family and other people who have already written and published about Ms Christie. I would love to do the journey, but am I brave enough? It's encouraging that Mr Eames first thought of his retracing journey in the autumn of 1999, but didn't actually start until about 2002. These things take time.