Doubt prevails

More than a month has gone by since my last blog and I have so much to record from my trip to Devon and my reading during the summer. There is no excuse for dragging my heels in this way, except for Doubt. Doubt that spending time on this project is sensible or useful. Out damned Doubt. There is no reason why I should not continue, even for my own amusement. Work has begun again, which drains my energy and my creativity. I've been frontloaded and have new courses to teach, so I am in that panic mode again. Walking that tightrope of complete fear because I have to convince a room full of people that I know what I'm talking about and make it seem fantastically interesting at the same time, while smothering myself in a veneer of self-confidence so that no-one will find out the truth. Added to all of this, I've been working on sending a dog that I rescued on the compound to the UK. She arrived yesterday and, as I knew this was meant, she has been welcomed by abnormally high temperatures for the end of September, so she will not suffer the cold and wet just yet.

I did send the letter to Mathew Prichard. I've had no reply so fear that, even if he read the letter, he thinks I'm a complete lunatic and has thrown it and my request to the rubbish bin. I don't blame him, but I am hugely disappointed. It would have been such a boost for me to have had his blessing. I knew it was too much to ask though. Look at me - a middle-aged teacher with nothing published (except research articles in academic institutions) and nothing to commend me as a possible writer. Still, that could be said of all writers when they first began so I'm going to have to pull up my socks and start believing in myself before I asking other people.

As it is, Syria continues to be out of bounds while Assad thrashes the people who dare to question his authority. Every Friday there are more deaths. I do wonder why the holiest day of the week in the Muslim religion is always the most violent.

Progress

Six weeks of vacation spent in England and Scotland have given me the opportunity to have a Christie Fest. I finally own a copy of Mrs Christie's autobiography and have read Unfinished Portrait by Mary Westmacott (Agatha Christie's pen name which she used to write books about human emotions and relationships). More on those two books in particular in a separate posting. I went to Churston Ferrers and stayed in the most excellent White Horse B&B, as well as visiting Greenway and the Churston Ferrers church. Oh my, I feel rejuvenated and excited about this project, although still reticent to contact anybody who could help me to produce something for publication. The more that I read, see and understand, the more that I feel compelled to continue with this project, whatever the outcome.

Many coincidences this summer, which I have taken as signs of encouragement - this is meant to be. For example, before my visit to Churston Ferrers, I looked up the town in the index of Mrs Christie's autobiography. There is only one actual reference and it was to do with the sponsorship of a stained glass window. Mrs Christie had a small battle to make the Good Shepherd the subject of the window as she wanted something cheerful. She won her battle. I visited the church (during a rainstorm) just to see the window, although neither window nor church are relevant to the purpose of the project. The church was my big disappointment, as the door was locked and there was no notice of how to contact someone for a key. What I discovered, while sheltering from the rain in the porch, was that the church is linked to the Christian church in the Middle East, which must be influenced by Mrs Christie.

Although my hope of at least getting a photograph of the window was thwarted, on my return home to my mother's house, where I stay during UK visits, I happened to look at the picture on my bedroom wall for the first time. It was labelled 'The Good Shepherd' and I've slept under it for years without giving the image any thought. See? Does this mean something?

On the back burner

It is so inconvenient to have to work to earn money to live. How I wish I could devote my time to what I really want to do. I wonder how many successful and would-be writers have said much the same thing. Struggling for art is normal, but most of us forget that books, music, paintings, poetry, etc don't just happen or are given to an individual on a plate.

Now that April is here again thoughts have turned to the summer and what I will do with the 8 weeks given to me as a summer vacation. When I write that I realise how fortunate I am to have that much time. I really must plan what I am going to do and do it.

There is a possibility that I will meet up with a Canadian friend in Turkey in the middle of July. Before that I'm thinking of taking an 'Introduction to Proofreading' course in London (I'm thinking of finding a way of making an income which can be done online and in any location in the world). I realise it would be ludicrous to travel back to Norfolk after the one day course, then back to Gatwick to fly to Turkey (cheapest flights to Istanbul). When I am in Turkey I can look for locations visited by Mr and Mrs Mallowan. While I am in southern England perhaps I could visit Devon, and certainly visit locations in London including the British Museum. Planning is important if I start now I can take advantage of the cheaper fares. I really must get in touch with Mrs Mallowan's grandson to see if he would give me access to any documents related to the trips to Syria. Perhaps I could visit Churston Ferrers and take a train to Gatwick from there. It's where Mrs Mallowan caught trains on many occasions, so there would be a sense of following footsteps - for whatever reason. After all, the whole point of the project is to follow her footsteps into Syria.

Useful link to visit locations in Devon: Travel through history

Time flies

It's clear that I'm back at work. No time to write anything or continue to research for this project. I had planned to write to AC's grandson to ask if he had any objections to my plans. Also to write to a publisher or two. I've done neither, mainly out of fear. Fear of rejection. Yet I could do this journey without either. Would be nice if there was some sanction from someone though. Oh, and some money would be useful.

Found this website while looking for an image of the route of the Orient Express in 1934. At least it isn't porn, but goodness knows what it has to do with the Orient Express. It's interesting how every aspect of Mrs Mallowan's life is picked over.

Astrology and Mrs Mallowan!

Notebooks

A new biography on Agatha Christie has just been published. Melodramatically titled Duchess of Death, it has received a bad review in the Guardian (thank heavens). In searching for more information about the book, I've come across yet more information on the Guardian website, including a mini quiz about Agatha (I scored a disappointing 6/11 - more to study I think). I'm hoping to upload a podcast of an interview with John Curran, recorded in September 2009, about his book Agatha Christie's Secret Notebooks. What an interesting interview. He was lucky enough to be given access to boxes of Agatha's notebooks and has found lots of new information, including an alternative ending to Death Comes As The End. I must get this book to see what is covered about the period 1934-1939 and what more detail can be gleaned about her times in Syria with Max.

Photo and podcast are from the Guardian newspaper website. John Curran being interviewed about his book on Agatha Christie's notebooks.

Penguin Publishing 75th anniversary

Just read in a copy of the Guardian newspaper that the classic Penguin books that we all know and feel nostalgia for is celebrating its 75th anniversary. What's the connection with Mrs Mallowan? According to the article, Allen Lane thought of the need for cheap, quality books after visiting with Agatha in Devon. So, it seems she inspired a revolution in publishing. He pushed forward his idea and Penguin Publishing was launched on 30 July 1935. Hmm, she would have been thinking about the first dig at Chagar Bazar which was due to start in the late autumn that year. Now that my eyes are alert for information about Agatha Christie, particularly in that period of time, it seems to come at me from all directions. Green was the colour code used for the covers of crime novels published by Penguin. Wonder if I can find one somewhere in a second hand bookshop.

Mrs Mallowan's music

The idea of Agatha Christie with an I-pod has started another trail in the attempt to understand her more. If the Queen can have an I-pod, I'm sure that Agatha would have had one for her long journeys to Syria and Iraq. I'm still reading 8.55 to Baghdad by Andrew Eames and have discovered a few more nuggets of information, including Agatha's special request for Elgar's Nimrod from the Enigma Variations to be played at her funeral in 1976. I've found a YouTube video with my favourite pianist and conductor Daniel Barenboim.